"Pray Always" by Elder David A. Bednar
October 2008 General Conference
Summary: Elder Bednar gives three specific things we should do to improve our prayers and make them more meaningful: counsel with the Lord in ALL our doings, express more gratitude, and pray more sincerely for others.
This talk is not specifically about parenting, but so much of it applies very well to my efforts as a parent that I wanted to actually write my thoughts out about it here. As a parent, I have a lot more to pray about than I ever did before, and I find myself caring more about getting spiritual guidance. However, it's hard to stay consistent, even still. So, Elder Bednar discusses three things we should do to help our prayers become more meaningful.
Principle #1: Prayer becomes more meaningful as we counsel with the Lord in all our doings.
Elder Bednar uses a fascinating analogy in comparing the creation of the earth with our creations of our days. In the book of Moses we learn that all things were created spiritually before they were naturally upon the earth. In the temple, this is depicted by drawings or sketchings of what the plants or animals or waters might look like, when the Lord and Christ are planning what they are about to create in each day. So, everything had a spirit and that was created before it was physically created.
Then Elder Bednar shows where this is going: "In a similar way, meaningful morning prayer is an important element in the spiritual creation of each day, and precedes the temporal creation or the actual execution of the day. Just as the temporal creation was linked to and a continuation of the spiritual creation, so meaningful morning and evening prayers are linked to and are a continuation of each other." We can spiritually prepare for each day through our prayers by reflecting on times we have made mistakes, recognizing when we've faltered, and ask for greater strength to improve and act like we want to throughout the coming day. In our minds, we can "create" our coming day and imagine what is coming and mentally and spiritually prepare ourselves for the onslaught of everyday struggles, and envision our positive responses and actions. For example: if I remember that yesterday I lost my temper when my five-year-old was taking toys from the toddler and later when the toddler refused to eat his lunch, I can prepare myself for those same things happening again today and imagine my more positive response in those situations. This preparation and spiritual creation is what will enable us to act like the patient parents we want to be even in trying situations.
However, the one morning prayer is not the only one that matters. Throughout the rest of the day, we "keep a prayer in our heart," as Elder Bednar says, "asking for continued assistance and guidance." We take note of times when the Spirit helps us with the moments we asked for help with at the beginning of the day, and we recognize those moments with gratitude. Then, in our evening prayer at the end of the day, we express that gratitude for the blessings and help we received throughout the day. We also try to repent for the times we still fell short, and ask for help with those same things tomorrow. This helps prepare us for our morning prayer the next day.
Instead of separate events, this visual of prayers makes them seem like one continuous stream of communication with God. "Morning and evening prayers--and all of the prayers in between--are not unrelated, discrete events; rather, they are linked together each day and across days, weeks, months, and even years. . . Such meaningful prayers are instrumental in obtaining the highest blessings God holds in store for His faithful children."
Elder Bednar concludes this section with this excellent scripture, Alma 37:36-37:
36 Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.
37 Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.
Principle #2: Prayer becomes more meaningful as we express heartfelt gratitude.
Elder Bednar tells a story about a prayer his wife offered after a close friend unexpectedly passed away. Instead of asking for anything, they prayed only in gratitude for the blessings they had received: memories with this friend, the comfort of the Holy Ghost, the plan of salvation, the Atonement of Christ, and for the blessings of eternal families and the sealing power. This prayer allowed them to focus on what was most important and to receive insights into what their friends really needed and how they could serve them. This makes sense, because gratitude for our blessings is one of the things that brings us the most joy and brings us much closer to Heavenly Father because of his goodness to us.
Elder Bednar said, "The most meaningful and spiritual prayers I have experienced contained many expressions of thanks and few, if any, requests." I obviously don't think he is arguing that we should never ask for anything in our prayers, but that we should focus mostly on our gratitude. I definitely could work on this. I know that when I remember how grateful I am for the most obvious and regular blessings in my life--my three kids, and the fact that I get to be the one to raise them and take care of them every day, even though it is hard--it helps me to strengthen my resolve and ability as a parent and to be better with them. Having gratitude is something that definitely makes me a better parent.
Principle #3: Prayer becomes more meaningful as we pray for others with real intent and a sincere heart.
When I do say meaningful prayers, I notice that a lot of the time I'm praying for things for myself and my family. However, the last thing that Elder Bednar suggests is that we pray for is not for things for ourselves (although that is fine), but that we pray for others, both those we love and those who despitefully use us.
"Just as expressing gratitude more often in our prayers enlarges the conduit for revelation, so praying for others with all of the energy of our souls increases our capacity to hear and to heed the voice of the Lord." So really, as we pray for other people, we end up getting blessings ourselves--blessings of revelation and answers to prayers from the Lord.
Praying for others also blesses them, when they hear us praying for them. Elder Bednar talks about the Nephites in the Book of Mormon and how they felt when hearing the Savior pray for them when he was visiting them: “No one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father” (3 Nephi 17:17). So, can't this apply in our families and in our parenting? If our children hear us praying for them in our family prayers--thanking Heavenly Father for them, and praying for them to overcome any challenges they are having--wouldn't that make them feel loved and joyful? I know that it had helped me when I was a child and I know my kids love hearing us mention them in our family prayers. Even Graham will say "fankful for Dane, 'Am, and Woocy" in his prayers and smile while he says it.
I think these three principles that Elder Bednar discusses are just mental mind shifts we need to make in thinking about prayers. Even today I haven't said a morning prayer yet, and it's 10:15 in the morning. It's hard to remember to do these things perfectly every day. But if we adjust how we think about our prayers, it can bless us in our attempts at parenting and it can help us with our relationships with our children--in addition to our relationship with our Heavenly Father.
Questions to consider:
Do I ever pray for my children in front of them? Do they ever hear me expressing love and gratitude for them in my prayers?
How can I improve my morning prayers to better create my upcoming day, especially with my children?
Summary: Elder Bednar gives three specific things we should do to improve our prayers and make them more meaningful: counsel with the Lord in ALL our doings, express more gratitude, and pray more sincerely for others.
This talk is not specifically about parenting, but so much of it applies very well to my efforts as a parent that I wanted to actually write my thoughts out about it here. As a parent, I have a lot more to pray about than I ever did before, and I find myself caring more about getting spiritual guidance. However, it's hard to stay consistent, even still. So, Elder Bednar discusses three things we should do to help our prayers become more meaningful.
Principle #1: Prayer becomes more meaningful as we counsel with the Lord in all our doings.
Elder Bednar uses a fascinating analogy in comparing the creation of the earth with our creations of our days. In the book of Moses we learn that all things were created spiritually before they were naturally upon the earth. In the temple, this is depicted by drawings or sketchings of what the plants or animals or waters might look like, when the Lord and Christ are planning what they are about to create in each day. So, everything had a spirit and that was created before it was physically created.
Then Elder Bednar shows where this is going: "In a similar way, meaningful morning prayer is an important element in the spiritual creation of each day, and precedes the temporal creation or the actual execution of the day. Just as the temporal creation was linked to and a continuation of the spiritual creation, so meaningful morning and evening prayers are linked to and are a continuation of each other." We can spiritually prepare for each day through our prayers by reflecting on times we have made mistakes, recognizing when we've faltered, and ask for greater strength to improve and act like we want to throughout the coming day. In our minds, we can "create" our coming day and imagine what is coming and mentally and spiritually prepare ourselves for the onslaught of everyday struggles, and envision our positive responses and actions. For example: if I remember that yesterday I lost my temper when my five-year-old was taking toys from the toddler and later when the toddler refused to eat his lunch, I can prepare myself for those same things happening again today and imagine my more positive response in those situations. This preparation and spiritual creation is what will enable us to act like the patient parents we want to be even in trying situations.
However, the one morning prayer is not the only one that matters. Throughout the rest of the day, we "keep a prayer in our heart," as Elder Bednar says, "asking for continued assistance and guidance." We take note of times when the Spirit helps us with the moments we asked for help with at the beginning of the day, and we recognize those moments with gratitude. Then, in our evening prayer at the end of the day, we express that gratitude for the blessings and help we received throughout the day. We also try to repent for the times we still fell short, and ask for help with those same things tomorrow. This helps prepare us for our morning prayer the next day.
Instead of separate events, this visual of prayers makes them seem like one continuous stream of communication with God. "Morning and evening prayers--and all of the prayers in between--are not unrelated, discrete events; rather, they are linked together each day and across days, weeks, months, and even years. . . Such meaningful prayers are instrumental in obtaining the highest blessings God holds in store for His faithful children."
Elder Bednar concludes this section with this excellent scripture, Alma 37:36-37:
36 Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.
37 Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.
Principle #2: Prayer becomes more meaningful as we express heartfelt gratitude.
Elder Bednar tells a story about a prayer his wife offered after a close friend unexpectedly passed away. Instead of asking for anything, they prayed only in gratitude for the blessings they had received: memories with this friend, the comfort of the Holy Ghost, the plan of salvation, the Atonement of Christ, and for the blessings of eternal families and the sealing power. This prayer allowed them to focus on what was most important and to receive insights into what their friends really needed and how they could serve them. This makes sense, because gratitude for our blessings is one of the things that brings us the most joy and brings us much closer to Heavenly Father because of his goodness to us.
Elder Bednar said, "The most meaningful and spiritual prayers I have experienced contained many expressions of thanks and few, if any, requests." I obviously don't think he is arguing that we should never ask for anything in our prayers, but that we should focus mostly on our gratitude. I definitely could work on this. I know that when I remember how grateful I am for the most obvious and regular blessings in my life--my three kids, and the fact that I get to be the one to raise them and take care of them every day, even though it is hard--it helps me to strengthen my resolve and ability as a parent and to be better with them. Having gratitude is something that definitely makes me a better parent.
Principle #3: Prayer becomes more meaningful as we pray for others with real intent and a sincere heart.
When I do say meaningful prayers, I notice that a lot of the time I'm praying for things for myself and my family. However, the last thing that Elder Bednar suggests is that we pray for is not for things for ourselves (although that is fine), but that we pray for others, both those we love and those who despitefully use us.
"Just as expressing gratitude more often in our prayers enlarges the conduit for revelation, so praying for others with all of the energy of our souls increases our capacity to hear and to heed the voice of the Lord." So really, as we pray for other people, we end up getting blessings ourselves--blessings of revelation and answers to prayers from the Lord.
Praying for others also blesses them, when they hear us praying for them. Elder Bednar talks about the Nephites in the Book of Mormon and how they felt when hearing the Savior pray for them when he was visiting them: “No one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father” (3 Nephi 17:17). So, can't this apply in our families and in our parenting? If our children hear us praying for them in our family prayers--thanking Heavenly Father for them, and praying for them to overcome any challenges they are having--wouldn't that make them feel loved and joyful? I know that it had helped me when I was a child and I know my kids love hearing us mention them in our family prayers. Even Graham will say "fankful for Dane, 'Am, and Woocy" in his prayers and smile while he says it.
I think these three principles that Elder Bednar discusses are just mental mind shifts we need to make in thinking about prayers. Even today I haven't said a morning prayer yet, and it's 10:15 in the morning. It's hard to remember to do these things perfectly every day. But if we adjust how we think about our prayers, it can bless us in our attempts at parenting and it can help us with our relationships with our children--in addition to our relationship with our Heavenly Father.
Questions to consider:
Do I ever pray for my children in front of them? Do they ever hear me expressing love and gratitude for them in my prayers?
How can I improve my morning prayers to better create my upcoming day, especially with my children?
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